Dear John,

We rejoiced when we knew you had been conceived, and we began to pray earnestly that God would call you to preach the Gospel. The Christian ministry, however is not a profession, but a calling that God must give.

While you were yet in your mother’s womb, we introduced you to the Word of God, and to the songs of Zion. We named you "John Wesley" because although he was theologically an Arminian, he was a true Christian. The name "John" means, "God is gracious" and we believe God has been gracious to us in giving you to us.

We have taught you the everlasting truths of God. Now, you will have to decide what kind of man you will be; and to what degree you will be a good man. God does not call us to be great, but to be good.

Remember first, that a although you have 10,000 instructors, yet you do not have many fathers. Therefore, I urge you to follow me. (See: I Cor. 2:15,16)

Second, If you follow Christ with all your heart, you too will be a pilgrim and a stranger in the earth. Although in a crowd, you will be alone.

Third, remember that neither "tribulation, distress, persecution, famine, nakedness, peril nor sword" shall separate you from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus the Lord. And, that it is better that ye suffer for well-doing than for evil-doing." "If any man suffer as a Christian let him not be ashamed." (Rom. 8:35; I Peter. 3:17; 4:16)

Fourth, remember the limited value of "money" and that "A god name is rather to be chosen than great riches." "Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a stalled ox and hatred therewith." The Word of God is more to be desired than "much fine gold." "Honor the Lord with thy substance" and be liberal with what you have for most people never learn "it is more blessed to give than to receive." (Prov. 22:1; 15:17; 19:10; 3:9; Acts 20:35)

In the next few years, you will seek a wife. Pray now that God would give you a proper mother for your children. Be wise, and not a fool. In the meantime, "Flee also youthful lusts," "Every sin that a man doeth is without the body, but he that commits fornication sins against his own body." (II Tim. 2:22; I Cor. 6:18) And, remember the old epitaph of the Scottish soldier

The toughest battle that ever I was in,

Was the battle o’er self and the conquest of sin.

Last, be honest, even as a child of God. "Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy soul and with all thy mind... (and) thy neighbor as thyself." (Matt. 22:37-39) "May God Smile On You." --Bach

Your Father and Mother

"They confessed that they were STRANGERS and PILGRIMS

on the earth." –Hebrews 11:13c

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Text: "And did not He make one? ...And wherefore one? That He might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against tile wife of his youth." (Malachi 2:15)

It is by the design of God that the home is the seedbed of both church and state. The condition of the church and the condition of the state is determined by the condition of the home; and it is not possible to have degenerate homes, and a virtuous state or church.

In order to preserve virtue in the earth, God is seeking a godly seed. For this reason He ordained marriage. Yet the greatest neglect among Christians continues to be the general disregard for the souls of their children.

God is seeking a godly seed in the earth. This is the purpose of marriage and the reason for the home. By marriage, God makes 2 people 1 flesh, or family, and thus makes peace. Here is the root by which godly seed is produced.

The question may be asked, "Why then is the Christian home filled with pain and sorrow? Why are the children of Christians like the children of this world?" The answer is simple: When people will not submit themselves to the will of God, Confusion will reign; and pain and sorrow are the judgments God brings upon the disobedient. The turmoil found in the home can most often be traced to the "two" who have been made "one," but who have refused to submit themselves to God’s design of "oneness" He has purposed for the home.

If God is seeking a godly seed, then it is the duty of parents to teach and to train their children in the ways of God. The will of God is the basis for obedience, and as God has commanded children to be in subjection to their parents, so parents who would have God’s blessing on their home must teach and train their children to be obedient. If children do not first learn "to show piety at home" --if they do not first learn to respect their parents by obeying them, they will never respect God, nor understand why they are to obey Him. During the early days of His earthly sojourn, the Son of God subjected Himself to His parents. (Lk. 2:51)

Parents are responsible for their children’s evil nature; and since on account of this evil nature children will not voluntarily submit to them, parents must teach and train them in obedience and as the will of God is the basis for obedience, so respect is the basis of obedience.

If parents are to teach their children to obey them, they must teach them to respect them. But how can we expect children to respect their parents unless their parents respect each other? Where there is no respect, there is no reason to obey.

A husband who does not respect his wife cannot expect his children to respect her. And, the reverse is just as true: if a mother would have her children respect her husband, she must respect him. When a husband does not respect his wife, the children will not respect him; and when a wife does not respect her husband, the children cannot respect her.

A husband must take his place as the moral and spiritual head of his family. God will hold him responsible if he does not. He must deal kindly with his wife, and must not be bitter against her. In the words of William Pitt, let him--

Be to her faults a little blind; (and)

Be to her virtues very kind.

If a husband would have the respect of his wife, he must take heed to his spirit, so that he does not deal treacherously against her. (Text)

In a similar manner, God commands a wife to respect her husband by submitting herself to his headship. So, Sarah called her husband, "lord." One day, Francis Quarles took his pen in hand and wrote --

This is a day of lawlessness. The hearts of men and women are openly defiant, even hostile, to the will of God. This is seen no more clearly than when the Holy Spirit instructs a wife to submit herself to the leadership of her husband "as unto the Lord." (Eph. 5:23) It is easier to continue in open rebellion, but as it produces defiance and hostility in our children, it is an awful price to pay.

It is by grace alone that God has provided the means whereby a godly wife, i.e. one living in the fear of God, can "win" her ungodly husband to the Gospel. (See: I Pet. 3:1-6) But, if a wife does not reverence her husband, and accept his God-appointed leadership, who can blame him if he continues without regard for the Gospel? To make matters worse, the children will follow their father’s unholy example, even though they may do it with a pious appearance.

First, CHRISTIANS LOSE THEIR CHILDREN BECAUSE THEY REFUSE TO RESPECT EACH OTHER ACCORDING TO GOD’S DESIGN. In some Christian families, the wife will leave her rightful place to act as the spiritual head of the family. The fact she may be more knowledgeable in the truth of God than her husband is irrelevant. When she oversteps her God-appointed boundary, she is in rebellion, and the "2" are no longer "1." Barring the grace of God, the children will resent the Gospel, and will rebel.

Second, CHRISTIANS LOSE THEIR CHILDREN ON ACCOUNT OF A PERMISSIVE ATTITUDE. In Christian families where a father forbids a child to do something, and the mother allows the child to do it, the family is divided. The children also are divided as to authority.

Respect is the basis of obedience, and this being ignored, the children will rebel. At the root of permissiveness lies the lack of respect. The results are equally tragic in those homes where the father is permissive, and thereby undermines the respect for his wife.

Third, CHRISTIANS LOSE THEIR CHILDREN BECAUSE THEY ARE OVERBEARING. Children are "little people" and as all people deserve to be treated in a civil and respectful manner, so do they. When Christian parents "lay down the law", and a child meekly and respectfully asks, "Why?" he deserves a reasonable response. It is only natural for a child (or for an adult for that matter) to rebel if he hears, "because I said so!"

Explain to the child, "We do this because it is pleasing to the Lord;" or "We do not do this because it is not pleasing to the Lord." Such decent communication will most often defuse rebellion, but if after reasons are given, a child is insistent upon violating the parent’s authority, then the child will have to be physically restrained. However, it is the nature of man to rebel against tyranny.

Children must be taught Doctrine and Discipline. If we love them, we must be willing to chastise them for so does our Heavenly Father. May God give us grace to admonish them in the Lord, while there is hope.

Fourth, one reason so many pastors lose their children is that they do not take time with them. WHAT CHILD WILL LOVE A GOSPEL THAT HAS DEPRIVED HIM OF THE AFFECTION AND TIME OF HIS FATHER?

The Apostle Paul tells us he kept his body in subjection lest when he had preached to others he himself should be a castaway.

(I Cor. 9:27) How unspeakably dreadful it is if we become absorbed in preaching the Gospel to others that we lose sight of them begotten of our own bodies!

Humanly speaking, the greatest "revival" this world has ever seen would result if Christians would but bring their homes into proper order; and until we repent of our neglect, neither the church nor the state can be brought into proper order.